In Passing
New white walls
built every day
The windows
small and black,
take time.
Chisel and chip
suck in the air
breathe
a freedom
that's all mine.
You look, you watch
A light comes on
A curtain falls
Shut in
Shut out
by a
temporal
understanding.
Just had a passing thought about the way we write and let others peep into our minds...
built every day
The windows
small and black,
take time.
Chisel and chip
suck in the air
breathe
a freedom
that's all mine.
You look, you watch
A light comes on
A curtain falls
Shut in
Shut out
by a
temporal
understanding.
Just had a passing thought about the way we write and let others peep into our minds...
posted by thoughtraker at 9:28 PM
13 Comments:
hee hee IBL - this has absolutely nothing to do with loneliness! :D
IBL - just added a note...
hey, nice poem.
breathe
a freedom
that's all mine.
Loved those lines.
thanks bilbo!
ano,
it was a complete tangent :) but sounded nice. I think yosso might be able to grasp it (and that, by the way, is meant as a compliment)
reminded me of some Pink Floyd lyrics (Breath in the Air) for no reason whatsoever
-asuph
Neatos!
was easy to comprehend.let me share what i thought,
the window is construed as metaphor for conversation, the others-doors,walls represent the limitations that define yourself and also facilitate communication.
chances are you started off with temopral understanding...and worked the chain up,
the form is popular...
each metaphor is qulaified by subsequent phrase...
eg
>>The windows
small and black,
the converse..as well
>>suck in the air
breathe
and asuph..quit this attempts on my lives..:))
thanks asuph, yosso!
i was thinking of the way we write: when we write words on a blank sheet/electronic document, those words are actually windows to our thoughts.
the person who reads the words can only comprehend from the outside, almost like watching a scene from outside a window. the comprehension is fleeting, but at that instant, the reader and writer share the same mindspace virtually.
would love to know ur thoughts on this perspective...
hey ano,
I'm a linux man, so don't understand much of Windows :D.
okay, enuf kidding for a day. When i saw your one-liner for iblu, I did try to think of it this way, but still wasn't sure. Yes, it's a nice perspective. And goes without saying, you're a master with words! keep writing.
-asuph
lol ibl - methinks my curtains were too heavy! :D
roftlol@asuph - trust u to come up with that linux line!
thanks for having had the patience to "watch this window" :))
aha!
read the poem b4 the comments were posted...was not very sure what it meant...just decided it sounded very profound...and hence beyond me :-)
then the comments came- its really interesting to know how each reader interprets the writer's words- even if those sometimes vary from the author's intent-
I enjoy it so much when everyone goes on a different tangent starting from the same spot...
ardra
thanks tocsin, ardra.
unlike ardra i read the comments before the poem...bummer...
thanks for the voyeuristic peek...may i suggest sheer curtains?? :-P
I liked this very much! I think, however that it is not the window that is small. I feel that every time I write something, people get a glimpse inside of me. Unfortunately it is only something small and fragmentary. I wish that through this window (whatever size it is) more could be seen.
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