Loneliness
I breathe
the perfume
of loneliness.
The silent diffusion
of solitude
into a muffled world.
Laughter raining gently
outside closed windows.
Music
seeping thru and
staining
the ceiling.
Flowers on
an evening stroll
with the unseen breeze.
Footsteps
and a key turning -
a fading fragrance.
the perfume
of loneliness.
The silent diffusion
of solitude
into a muffled world.
Laughter raining gently
outside closed windows.
Music
seeping thru and
staining
the ceiling.
Flowers on
an evening stroll
with the unseen breeze.
Footsteps
and a key turning -
a fading fragrance.
posted by thoughtraker at 4:55 AM
14 Comments:
"feeling" locked-up can happen anywhere IBL - trust me! :))
yea, feeling locked u has nothing to do with being in one's home-
and ano, if written/typed words could have a sound effect- then this is one such - I mean I could somehow "hear" the impact of this poem as I read it...mebbe it is the usage of some special words- loved the "feeling" of the poem...
and thanx for persevering..some wud've otherwise missed this one...
luv
ardra
but IBL, this poem is about savouring such solitude, even while one is aware of how alone one is...perhaps it's the deliberate usage of the word "loneliness", which has such a negative connotation that it always bring to mind sad images?
thanks ardra, IW, for such lovely feedback!
yes ananth - u got the last lines right.
hmmm...so i get a blanket approval from u is it? :D thanks!
hey ano...i normally don't deconstruct poetry, but one thing jumped at me when i read this: the use of the word "perfume" in the first stanza...i kept thinking "scent" would be so much better esp coz there are other words in the poem like silent, solitude, seeping, staining, stroll etc. and i was perhaps seeing an imaginary pattern...also scent sound natural while perfume sounds like a manmade scent (i guess i am thinking of the noun form)
other than this, the poem was surreal...i could visualize the sounds wafting around like fragrances, but why "flowers" in the fifth stanza? that was one non-sound creeping into an otherwise 'sound' poem...:-))
Hi Ano, beuatiful poem. We (Fizo, IBL, Anantha and me) were talking about your wonderful blogs this weekend and the reduced frequency. Good to read this today.
I have never been totally comfortable with solitude. As buck has written in my poem that my silence is not melodious. :-)
Totally agree with buck on the Perfume/scent thing and the rest also.
at one point the scene from "hours" where Julianne Moore feels like she is drowning in a flood in her living room came to mind. Altho the tones are diff here - nonetheless that is what popped into me mind :-)
the whole poem was a good read -
i especially like the feeling created by "silent diffusion of solitude into a muffled world"
beautiful words, ano......could almost touch the pain in ur thoughts.....
enig!
buck, it's fantastic to receive such comments that open up a whole new perspective! i did toy with fragrance (too frail) and scent (too bland) before i settled on perfume. and i wasn't even aware of the pattern...the sounds and sights around me were what i had in mind, hence the flowers.
melo, thanks! it feels really nice to know that u guyz actually remembered me! :D
wow resh! that's certainly strong imagery to associate with this, though i think i see where you're coming from.
thanks ssm, enig!
This one leaves such a nice taste ..
makes you wonder ..
and if i may :)
leaves me locked inside
just as i lived my life
trying to fit in
boxes small and spaces wide
the fragrance lingers still
as i turn the keys myself
shutting out the spring
melting on the window sill
Doh - that was simply awesome - just blew me away!!
Anything you want discontinued perfumeCOME AND SEE discontinued perfume
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